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I suppose now they're going to be

I really shouldn't have said

... the damage is done, now. Whatever might happen, it's been said. I can't exactly take it back.

It's ... it's really not how I intended to bring up that possibility for the first time, though. I don't know how I wanted to -- but not like that, not shouting and them sitting there judging her. And Mother so calm, just letting me know she disapproves with her eyes. And Father, whatever he feels is all hidden under the military --

Like always.

Ian's going to hear about it, I can be sure of that. Then I have that to look forward to. Dragons, I wouldn't put it past him to tell her, then what to I I'm not thinking about that.

Well. I didn't say I was going to ask her tomorrow. I won't be pushed into anything. Or pushed away from anything. I'll just ... do everything the way I already was. It's been working out well. ... mostly. Sometimes. I'll just do that. Keep taking it one day at a time. I'd always thought it. Nothing's changed.

This isn't a big deal.

There's nothing to be afraid of.

Except Ian. ... except that she could say no.